The Continuing Story of Head Hung Low Beez

I'd really love to have a rock band.

I assume this is everyone's dream. If it's not your dream, then you're probably friendless virgin.

The only thing keeping me from having this rock band, the only hurdle on my track to stardom is the ability to play an instrument. It's a minor set back, considering the fact that it hasn't stopped Nickelback.

My musical inability isn't entirely my fault. In fourth grade we got to pick what instruments we wanted to play for the rest of our school years. Originally I chose drums, a staple of almost every rock band in history.

When I told my mom I wanted to play drums, she said that drums weren't musical and that I should play something else. Depressed, since I'd been banging pots from birth, I decided on a more refined instrument, the violin.

The violin is a great starter instrument if you want to become a rock legend. It has strings just like a guitar. But alas, I was again persuaded away from this tool.

There was this red-headed girl a year older than I, who had already chosen her instrument and her brother and my sister played on the same soccer team. During our siblings' game, we talked and I told her how I wanted to play violin. She explained that violin is very boring and that I should play clarinet.

Looking back, I see that she used an addict's mentality to convince me to choose the clarinet. Addicts always try to convince you to partake in their drug of choice so that they can squelch their uncertainty about the drug through a group backing. This is also known as the "Misery loves company" mentality.

Of course I chose the clarinet.

What a wonderful decision that was. I wish I could have backed out of playing clarinet. I only had a rental, well until my sister got bored one day and cut the rental form into pieces. This unbelievably odd satiation kicked me further from my dreams than before.

So now I think about how cool it would be to be in a rock band. Surrounded by musicians, I am constantly reminded of the bitter years I spent tonguing a piece of wood and playing the soundtrack from "Titanic".

I bought a guitar recently. I try to play it, but whenever I build up enough motivation to play, my roommate hears me, comes in my room, and tricks me into letting him play it until my inspiration recedes.

Man if I could have a rock band. I'd have all the girls, lot's of money, long vacations... What a life.

Too bad programming doesn't excite the fairer.

So what was Anton Beza doing today? Contemplating playing, very quietly.