The Out of Class Out of Mind Effect

I don't want to be doing this right now.

It's not just psychological, my whole body protests. I get ill, I shake, I can't sit still, I have to get up and walk around. Every time I get down to do it, my mind escapes me. It runs away. It's like trying to bring similar magnetic polarities together. I get close to the computer and my thoughts are gone, they shoot across the room in the opposite direction, slam into the wall and slowly slide to the floor leaving a ugly trail of thought-blood. I hate homework.

Is it just me, or did all the greats drop out of school? Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, Steve Wozniak... All of them, supremely rich drop outs. I'm still here though. Signing up for more dumb classes. In a field where the giants got out from behind the school desk as quick as they could.

I can't focus on this. "What is so bad Anton? What is your homework assignment?" you ask. Frankly, you don't want to know.

Ok.

I'll tell you.

I need to pick a venue (some call for papers), write a journal article, and prepare a presentation of my work. This is all one assignment mind you. Yes, it's probably not that bad. There's just other things I could be doing. So now I'm going to discuss

WHY HOMEWORK STUNTS SOCIETY
The Out of Class Out Of Mind Effect

When I get a homework assignment I don't want to do it. But, since I have one, I can't do anything else. I could be doing something productive, but no, I need to work on this assignment. So I sit down at the computer and I stare at the screen for about 8 hours shaking, without a thought in my head. I accomplish nothing at all. But I can't do something else, I have this damn homework assignment to do.

So, instead of finding the cure for cancer in my free time (which I'm on the verge of by the way), I just get sick for a week sweating and convulsing at my keyboard with drool oozing down my chin. It's impossible to do homework until it's about four hours before the assignment is due. At that point your thoughts come running back, ready to go. They won't return until that time, no matter what.

If you think you can start an assignment early so you don't get an ulcer like you did last term paper, you're wrong. It's a physiological impossibility. The human body is not designed to accomplish things in advance.

What proof do I have? Human gestation. The baby develops the most in the last few weeks. It starts nine months out, but really doesn't get going till the very end. Just like me and my assignment. I thought about stuff in the beginning, but if I ever even dared to put something on paper, my brain would give out and I'd crack my skull on the desk.

Imagine if Rosco Plaidsbuck didn't have homework. "Rosco Plaidsbuck?" you ask, and you're exactly right. Who is Mr. Plaidsbuck? Well simply put, he almost invented a little thing called the Beer Compressor. Why didn't he? Homework. He had to write an essay on liquid compression in a 4-dimensional Klein Bottle. He was only hours away from finishing the first construction of the Beer Compressor, but he needed to finish his essay. So he put this invention on hold for a week. If he didn't have the assignment, he'd probably have his brain working, but it turned off as soon as he sat down to write his paper.

He didn't even notice that his cigarette had fallen out of his mouth and into the trash can. His home, himself and most importantly the Beer Compressor were destroyed. All because the homework knocked the thoughts out of him.

So next time you have trouble carrying a 30 rack because it's not in a pill format, remember what homework did to Rosco Plaidsbuck.

Homework stunts society and it should be vanquished.

So what was Anton Beza doing today? Not the homework due tomorrow, that's for sure.